Hi everyone! hope you liked the prologue! if so ask to be tagged, and I'll tag you! click @Charcat to see all of the previous installments!
Chapter One: Six Feet of Dirt Makes us All Equal
My footsteps echoed in the empty classroom. I was in Ability Detecting, my last session of the day. It would have been more enjoyable if they hadn't already Manifested and were going through a two-hour session that was never exciting unless someone manifested something interesting.
"Welcome Ms. Veena!" said a sing-song voice. "Today, we are individually testing students for certain abilities that run in their family. You mainly have Vanishers, but your mother is a Pyrokinetic and your father is an...empath? Well, let's start, shall we?" Lady Rafa was one of the nicer mentors, but that didn't make her any less irritating. The combination of her phony smile and obnoxious voice was enough to make me vomit.
"Ok," I responded. I wasn't in the mood to talk much.
"Why don't we try to test you for a new ability? we've put you through a lot of different tests, lets try a new one, shall we?" She said cheerily. "First, let's test you for Pyrokinesis! I'm just gonna put you here in this room, and we'll see what happens, ok?"
She led me to another room down the hall with icicles hanging from the ceiling, a thick layer of frost on the ground, and freezing cold conditions.
"H-h-how long am I g-g-gonna be in here?" I stammered through chattering teeth, already shivering.
"Why not try with, ten minutes?" she said. it made me want to smack her in the face. "then we'll see how you are, get you warmed up, and then try again?" I grimace.
I dutifully walked over to a stool in the middle of the freezing cold room. My fingers slowly turned blue as I sat in the room, feeling like a total fool. When the time is up, I walk out, small icicles hanging out of both of my nostrils.
"Ok, how was that? With most of the Pyrokinetics feel a bit of warmth towards the end. did you?" Her cheery voice filled my ears again.
"Nothing. I was just cold." I snapped.
"Ok. Let's get you warmed up, and then try another ability." She handed me a cup of hot tea. I gulped it down thirstily and pressed the still-warm cup to my cheeks, warmth spreading over me like a blanket.
After a couple more minutes, she lead me back to the classroom.
When I entered the room, she started talking again.
"Ok, let's try inflicting! I'm going to release something, and we'll see if you inflict on it!" She said.
"Close your eyes."
I closed my eyes as I was told, and I heard the sound of a latch clicking, and on her command, opened them again.
In front of me stood five snarling verminions, disgusting teeth bared, eyes flickering with hatred. and then suddenly, with a grotesque snarling sound, they charged towards me as fast as they could. I closed my eyes and something clicked. I heard squealing sounds and then the room went silent.
Lady Rafa's face was white as snow, her eyes wide from shock. Her eyes were flickering from me to the verminions. Back and forth. I suddenly realize I should be hearing a lot of snarling. But instead, the verminions were silent as death. I looked down. The veminions were lying there, mangled and bloody. And dead.
Ok, I will keep writing in past tense. And this is after the other one. the other one takes place at the end of the story (does that make sense? it's supposed to be like the Keeper books, because the Prologue takes place at the end of the book, and then it rewinds and the whole story takes place.)
Is this before or after the other one? I know you mentioned to your tenses but I think you should make it all past tense. Even if it’s past test, you still feel like you’re in the present. For me current tense is hard to follow.
I couldn't find out how to schedule it so here ya go! Anyways, I'll see you in a week or so. Hope this is enough for now, and please, I would love some constructive critisism. I'm sorry if it switches from present to past tense, my brain was just wanting me to write in present tense but I needed to write in past tense, so if it gets confusing, sorry bout that.
Enjoy!